Joy or Happiness?

This was on my mind today-borrowed from myself-a social media note I originally posted April 30, 2012.

Happiness is: dependent on circumstances

                    temporary

                    sometimes deceptive

Joy is: not dependent on circumstance

          lasting

          based on truth

If we expect happiness to last, we will always be disappointed-in life, in ourselves, in other people, in God, because when none of these can keep us happy, we blame them each in turn for failing us. What we really want and need is joy. James chapter 1 says:

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Joy is: peace in the midst of the storm

39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.  Mark 4:39

Joy is: knowing you are never alone, no matter the circumstances that surround you

"lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

God never promised the Christian a life of ease and happiness. He promised trials, persecution, sorrows. But He promised to be with us through it all. That is our joy, that though we live in this broken world, we have someone to cling through, who always understands, always loves, always helps.

"there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

Joy is: knowing where we are headed

16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4

And our joy is also that this world is not our final destination, but rather a journey back home.

Rejection

It's a part of life. You didn't get picked for the team. You didn't get that job you really wanted. Someone you loved didn't love you back. Rejection can give you a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, it can hurt your feelings, but worse than that, it can make you doubt your worth. I want to tell you today, don't let someone else's rejection of you define who you are. You are more than that. Don't let someone else's rejection of you make you reject yourself. Never, ever sell yourself short because someone else cannot see the gift that you are. I want you to know today that you are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.
Don't let that rejection paralyze you from taking chances; instead, let it spur you forward. Mourn the loss; it's real. But don't allow yourself to remain in that place. All the pain you've gone through, learn from it, but don't live in it. You are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.
Don't repeat the pattern of rejection. Give encouragement freely. What you sow you will reap. Build others up, even if some have tried to tear you down. You are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

~Ephesians 1:3-6 KJV 

You are loved. You are valuable. You are accepted. You are enough.

Self Care

What is it that fills you up? That feeds your spirit? That brings you calm in the midst of chaos? For many years I was the frazzled mom of four young children very close in age. The youngest two were so close in age that I tandem nursed for a time. Frazzled because-I know this is going to sound wrong to some-frazzled because I put my kids' well-being before my own. "Wait!" you say. "Once you have kids it's all about them-my kids are my world!! I can't be selfish!" And there it is. Mistaking self-care for selfishness. We moms are the guiltiest of making that mistake. Now, hear me: I am not saying you shouldn't love your children.Nor am I saying you should ever neglect their needs. I am saying you should also love yourself. You should also not neglect your own needs. Think of this: one day your children will be grown. They will have lives of their own. They are with us for such a very short time. By all means, give them your time and attention. Give them whatever they need, as far as you are able. Teach them to love learning and not be afraid to make mistakes. But beware of the unspoken, unintended lessons you may be teaching them. Do you want your sons to expect their future wives to be frazzled all the time? Do you want this for your daughters?  Let them observe from you the value of a mom. Let them see you doing things that make you smile. Let them see Dad spending time with them while you go get a manicure, or spend time with a dear friend, or read a good book. Let them see you continue to learn, grow, thrive. Let them see you live a rich life with purpose and identity, outside of them. They will learn to do the same for themselves and their spouses. Remember that, on an airplane, in the event of an emergency, parents are instructed to place the oxygen mask on themselves before they place one on their child. If the parent passes out, he or she is of no use to the child. If you wear yourself out trying to make things great for your children while you neglect yourself, eventually you will find you can't breathe, and you are doing your children, and yourself, a disservice. Take care of yourself.

Welcome!

"Praise ye the LORD. Sing unto the LORD a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints." -Psalm 149:1
Waxing philosophical probably comes naturally to many people "of a certain age", but please, indulge me if you will. It is my personal belief (take it with a grain of salt), that, if we are growing, we find in moments of change "a new song". Let's pause a moment and define the "old song". My old song consists of self-doubt, excessive worry, fear of failure, fear of judgment. Your old song may sound similar; it may be different. But it is the mental soundtrack that colors our thoughts, that plays in the background of the movie of our lives unfolding day by day, moment by moment. For me, when I heard a compliment about my gifts, the old song accused, "Impostor". When a crisis arose, the old song discouraged, "You can't make it." When difficult task loomed, the old song taunted, "You can't do it." And when people offered criticism, constructive or otherwise, the old song attacked, "You are worthless."
For me, the new song comes in knowing, in accepting, in celebrating, in loving who I am. I am a child of God. I am a beloved wife, mother, sister, friend. I am blessed, gifted, intelligent, beautiful. I have received goodness from God and I am here to share it. My new song is praise to my Creator; praise for who He is; praise for what He has created. I am part of that wonderful creation, part of that which, when He completed it all He proclaimed, "It is very good." I will not cheapen the name of the God whom I praise by belittling one of His creation. When I see myself through His eyes, I must sing a new song; a song of confidence; a song of strength; a song of competence; a song of value. 
It is my hope that, as you read the pages to come, you will find your new song.