Hard Truths

One of the hardest things for a human being to face is an unpleasant truth about themselves or someone they love. When someone who cares points out a serious character flaw you have, or a wrong action you did, it is human nature to become defensive, offer up excuses, or even lash out at the person bringing correction. Newsflash: correction does not equal attack. Yet, for some reason, human nature puts the corrected person into fight or flight mode: fight the corrector, or run from the problem. 

There is a remedy for this: humility. Not the false humility that whines, "Well, no one is perfect." Rather, the willingness to take a long, hard look at yourself (or your loved one), without crying to others about how that person who corrected you is attacking you. The willingness to take a step back and really examine yourself, and decide if the flaw or action that was pointed out is something you would overlook in someone else. 

Don't fight. Don't run. In the end, you are only fighting and running from yourself, and you will never succeed; because every time you look in the mirror, there you are. Face the ugly truths about yourself, and make things right. Life is too short to live dishonestly.

I am who I am- Thoughts on Exodus 3:7-15 and 6:1-8

As I contemplate the sorrow of my family upon learning of the passing of a dear relative, my Bible study assignment this week seems most fitting to the occasion. 

Looking at Exodus, we are told in 3:9, "And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them." (NIV

And also in Exodus 6:2-3, we read, "God also said to Moses, “I am the Lord. 3 I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty,[a] but by my name the Lord[b] I did not make myself fully known to them." (NIV)

Endings and Beginnings, Part 1

This week, my youngest baby is finishing PreK. Within the next few weeks, she will be in Kindergarten. I am so thankful to personally be on her educational journey with her, because we homeschool her.
PreK was an extra exciting year for me, as one of my favorite curriculum companies, My Father's World, released a brand new PreK program, called Voyage of Discovery, just in time to begin with my little one when she turned four. When I saw it, I knew it was the right balance of seat-work, hands-on activities, imaginative play, and outdoor play for my girl. Not only that, but it was full of Biblical instruction for her, and encouragement for me 😍
It was also exciting for her, learning from the Bible, character, loving and serving others, household chores, letter sounds, math concepts, science concepts, and games to play-outdoors and in, a well as enjoying many great read-aloud books together (a few hundred!)
As beautiful as it has been, all good things come to an end. So this week, we say goodbye to PreK. It is bittersweet. Not just because we are finishing a school year, but because it marks a rite of passage for my youngest child. She is, slowly but surely, growing up. She is growing bigger, wiser, and kinder, and that is what a mother hopes for her children.
But when one thing ends, another begins. So, as we wrap up PreK and soon begin Kindergarten, my youngest child transitions from a Preschool-aged child to a school-aged child. We will continue this journey with My Father's World's freshly updated Kindergarten curriculum, called God's Creation from A to Z, and continue moving toward future endings and beginnings.

The Lighter Side: Survival Skills for the Introverted, Middle-aged Parent of an Extroverted Preschooler

I am the middle-aged mother of four adults. I am also the middle aged mother of one lively four-year-old. These statements alone sound like the set-up for an amusing joke. And, indeed, there are days when my main survival tactic is to sit back and laugh. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
What is it like to have a young child when the rest are grown or nearly grown? I will answer that by listing some things I have learned in hindsight:
1. I had a lot more energy when I was in my twenties. I used to run and climb in the playground with my kids. Now, I can be found sitting on a bench, finding a myriad of polite ways to decline my child's pleas for me to join her on the slide. Which brings me to...
2. Siblings who are close in age can entertain each other. I am now my four-year-old's main source of entertainment.
Me: I love playing with you sweetheart, but I just need to go to the bathroom now. I'll be back in a little bit.
Her: Okay, Mommy.
Her **Two seconds after I sit on the toilet** : MOOOMMMY, where are you??
Me: Sigh.
3. Extroverted children like to talk. A LOT. My older children are varying degrees of introverts, or at least extroverts with introvert tendencies. Which means they all have moments of needing quiet reflection and recharging. Not the little one. It is rare that she stops talking, other than to eat, and sometimes not even then. Her little brain is always going. Did I mention she is also an early riser? My brain isn't awake till about 9 AM, so I have to fake it for two hours.
Her: Mooommmy, can we play a game now?
Me: Mmhmm. In a little bit.
**Three minutes later**
Her: **pokes my face** Mommy, lets play!!
Me: Ow. **ZZZ**
Her: MOOOMMMY!
Me: Sigh.
But lest I sound like a mean mommy, here are a few other things I've learned:
1. I have a bit more wisdom than when I was in my twenties. I used to overreact to the smallest things and miss the sweetest things. I like to think my four-year-old has helped change my perspective.
2. Siblings who are far in age can be close in heart. I love watching my older children interact with their baby sister. She lights up when she sees them, and I can just see the love in their eyes, too.
Her: I love you, Bob!!
Big sister: I love you too, Pookie.
Me: Sigh :)
3. Extroverted children show their feelings freely. This means the bad with the good: sometimes, she can have a whopper of a bad mood. But when she's happy, it's downright contagious.
Her: Mommy?
Me **Slightly exasperated from a few hours of nonstop chatter**: Yes, honey.
Her: You're the BEST Mommy I ever had in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!
Me: Thank you sweetie. I love you so much.
Her: I love you so much, too!!
**Smothers me in hugs and kisses**
Me: Sigh <3

Mothers

On March 4, 1994, my one and only mom left this world too soon, just five days shy of her fifty-eighth birthday. I was a new mom myself at the time, and not only had I lost my mom, I lost a constant in my life; the rudder to my ship. I found myself drifting along, not knowing how to navigate these uncharted waters called motherhood. I can recall many storms that tossed me about, many dark caverns that loomed ahead of me, but I was missing my lighthouse.
Those of you who still have your moms: appreciate them. Seek their counsel; they have walked the road that lies ahead of you, and you can benefit from their wisdom. Spend time with them; call them on the phone just to say hi; drop in unannounced; bring the grand-kids; give her a big bear hug and sloppy kiss on the cheek. She will probably stifle a laugh and tell you to stop being so mushy, but inside she is in heaven. It reminds her of the crushing hugs and sloppy kisses you gave her when you were a baby-and you will always be her baby.
Your mom wiped your tears, patched up your wounds, cooked meals for you, worked hard for you, taught you, did her best to protect you, held you tight when you were afraid. She gave you life.
Even if you are at odds with her at any point in your life, do everything in your power to make it right. No one, but no one, loves you like your mom.
I take a moment here to acknowledge women who have stood in for moms who were absent, in one way or another. I have had some of those in my life as well. But even if your mom has ever broken your heart, forgive her. I know that, deep down, the worst hurt a mother can experience is that the children that she bore, at any time in their lives, bear a grudge against her, or don't want her in their lives. If she has fallen off your childhood pedestal, remember that she, too, is human. She can fail. She will fail. But so will you. And so will every human being on the face of this earth. You may never agree on certain things; but afford her the same courtesy you give to friends who disagree with you.
I tell you from experience: one day, she will be gone. No matter if it happens while you are in your twenties or in your sixties, it will be too soon. And you will wonder why you let so much time pass between phone calls and visits. You will regret wasted years. You will miss your mom.
Wishing a blessed Mother's Day to mothers by blood or by love (or both), and their children.

Spring

Time of renewal-
Warm, sunny breeze
Blossoms, like jewels,
Clothe waking trees.
Butterflies floating,
Taking their ease;
Hummingbirds hovering,
Buzzing with bees.
Queen of the seasons,
Sweetest of these;
Plentiful reasons,
Moments to seize.
~Lourdes Olson 5/3/2017

Joy or Happiness?

This was on my mind today-borrowed from myself-a social media note I originally posted April 30, 2012.

Happiness is: dependent on circumstances

                    temporary

                    sometimes deceptive

Joy is: not dependent on circumstance

          lasting

          based on truth

If we expect happiness to last, we will always be disappointed-in life, in ourselves, in other people, in God, because when none of these can keep us happy, we blame them each in turn for failing us. What we really want and need is joy. James chapter 1 says:

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Joy is: peace in the midst of the storm

39 Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.  Mark 4:39

Joy is: knowing you are never alone, no matter the circumstances that surround you

"lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

God never promised the Christian a life of ease and happiness. He promised trials, persecution, sorrows. But He promised to be with us through it all. That is our joy, that though we live in this broken world, we have someone to cling through, who always understands, always loves, always helps.

"there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

Joy is: knowing where we are headed

16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4

And our joy is also that this world is not our final destination, but rather a journey back home.

Rejection

It's a part of life. You didn't get picked for the team. You didn't get that job you really wanted. Someone you loved didn't love you back. Rejection can give you a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, it can hurt your feelings, but worse than that, it can make you doubt your worth. I want to tell you today, don't let someone else's rejection of you define who you are. You are more than that. Don't let someone else's rejection of you make you reject yourself. Never, ever sell yourself short because someone else cannot see the gift that you are. I want you to know today that you are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.
Don't let that rejection paralyze you from taking chances; instead, let it spur you forward. Mourn the loss; it's real. But don't allow yourself to remain in that place. All the pain you've gone through, learn from it, but don't live in it. You are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.
Don't repeat the pattern of rejection. Give encouragement freely. What you sow you will reap. Build others up, even if some have tried to tear you down. You are loved, you are valuable, you are accepted, you are enough.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

~Ephesians 1:3-6 KJV 

You are loved. You are valuable. You are accepted. You are enough.

Self Care

What is it that fills you up? That feeds your spirit? That brings you calm in the midst of chaos? For many years I was the frazzled mom of four young children very close in age. The youngest two were so close in age that I tandem nursed for a time. Frazzled because-I know this is going to sound wrong to some-frazzled because I put my kids' well-being before my own. "Wait!" you say. "Once you have kids it's all about them-my kids are my world!! I can't be selfish!" And there it is. Mistaking self-care for selfishness. We moms are the guiltiest of making that mistake. Now, hear me: I am not saying you shouldn't love your children.Nor am I saying you should ever neglect their needs. I am saying you should also love yourself. You should also not neglect your own needs. Think of this: one day your children will be grown. They will have lives of their own. They are with us for such a very short time. By all means, give them your time and attention. Give them whatever they need, as far as you are able. Teach them to love learning and not be afraid to make mistakes. But beware of the unspoken, unintended lessons you may be teaching them. Do you want your sons to expect their future wives to be frazzled all the time? Do you want this for your daughters?  Let them observe from you the value of a mom. Let them see you doing things that make you smile. Let them see Dad spending time with them while you go get a manicure, or spend time with a dear friend, or read a good book. Let them see you continue to learn, grow, thrive. Let them see you live a rich life with purpose and identity, outside of them. They will learn to do the same for themselves and their spouses. Remember that, on an airplane, in the event of an emergency, parents are instructed to place the oxygen mask on themselves before they place one on their child. If the parent passes out, he or she is of no use to the child. If you wear yourself out trying to make things great for your children while you neglect yourself, eventually you will find you can't breathe, and you are doing your children, and yourself, a disservice. Take care of yourself.

Welcome!

"Praise ye the LORD. Sing unto the LORD a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints." -Psalm 149:1
Waxing philosophical probably comes naturally to many people "of a certain age", but please, indulge me if you will. It is my personal belief (take it with a grain of salt), that, if we are growing, we find in moments of change "a new song". Let's pause a moment and define the "old song". My old song consists of self-doubt, excessive worry, fear of failure, fear of judgment. Your old song may sound similar; it may be different. But it is the mental soundtrack that colors our thoughts, that plays in the background of the movie of our lives unfolding day by day, moment by moment. For me, when I heard a compliment about my gifts, the old song accused, "Impostor". When a crisis arose, the old song discouraged, "You can't make it." When difficult task loomed, the old song taunted, "You can't do it." And when people offered criticism, constructive or otherwise, the old song attacked, "You are worthless."
For me, the new song comes in knowing, in accepting, in celebrating, in loving who I am. I am a child of God. I am a beloved wife, mother, sister, friend. I am blessed, gifted, intelligent, beautiful. I have received goodness from God and I am here to share it. My new song is praise to my Creator; praise for who He is; praise for what He has created. I am part of that wonderful creation, part of that which, when He completed it all He proclaimed, "It is very good." I will not cheapen the name of the God whom I praise by belittling one of His creation. When I see myself through His eyes, I must sing a new song; a song of confidence; a song of strength; a song of competence; a song of value. 
It is my hope that, as you read the pages to come, you will find your new song.